Fiji, bitch
by Scotty Weeks
So I’m heading to Fiji tomorrow morning at eight o clock. This will be my first solo holiday in years — probably about seven. I’ll be flying into Nadi, spending the night there and then off to some resort island to spend four more days in a hut drinking cocktails from the hollowed out skulls of missionaries. I’m confident that one of the locals will fight me to the death and I will die horribly and tropically.
Since this will likely be the case I’ll take a lot of photos for everyone so you can remember me as I was at the end — drunk and high on kava. If I do survive I should have some stories to tell, maybe even the one about the hooker with dysentery.